Stay connected

Enter your email address to receive notifications of new posts.

Testimonials

Thank you for all the words. You’ve created the magic drug I’ve been looking for all my life. Your blog has transformed my life, and I feel like I am on the brink of a most satisfying fulfilling journey…You’ve made me see everything in a new light. I now feel calmer, able to care better for my toddler, less hateful of people around, and hopeful for my future. I am not so afraid for our marriage anymore. — Shilpa CB
Shilpa CB
This is me. This is me from the day I was born. For so long I felt misunderstood and rejected, even by the people closest to me, because they could never understand my need for solitude, and I had no idea how to explain it to them. Even now that I know more about Introversion and have a more informed understanding of my hard-wired need for solitude, it’s still very difficult sometimes to help my loved ones understand this profound craving for time and space all to myself. This is one of the best…
Sharon
Your words are my lifeline.  I sit down to your posts and as I read I can feel my acceptance of myself and my needs grow.  Your words validate my feelings about my life, motherhood, relationships and it is something I hold onto.  And during the times when I feel like I am not able to be a mother or a wife or a sister or a friend or whatever someone needs me to be, I go back to your words and find some peace…I send your posts to my husband when I need him to understand that I love him but I need …
D.R.
For the first time in my life I could truly explain, through your words the way in which I experience life and myself. Brenda… It all fell into place. I had found myself and had such a moment of clarity. It felt like such a big weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Finally I felt like it was ok to be me. I was not the only one. I had found people and a little space where I fit in. … I was at work and crying on the inside. Emotions ran wild inside me. I was ecstatic, sad, confused, motivated, i…
Niko
That courage and dedication you so generously share with the world, has inspired me to push myself a little harder, persevere at each task a little longer, dig a little bit deeper to where the answers just “feel” right to both my humanity AND my spirit. Your insights have reinforced my direction and given me additional tools that help me clear my path. I’m wired into my creativity as never before and the new music is pouring out of me faster than I can record and produce it; this is the Un…
Gary
BRENDA: thank you SO much! Your advice is exactly what I need to do. I am amazed how much you “get” me after only exchanging a few messages!… Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’ve helped me more than a year of therapy sessions! – Megan on space2live
Megan
Brenda has truly opened up a space for introverted types on the ‘net, and her self-revelations are always inspiring. Her voice is one I always look forward to. She is one of the writers that actually played a part in my return to writing.  — S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
Because of your blog, I know that it is possible for me to have the love that I want one day and that I don’t have to be alone.  — Indepthwoman  on space2live
Indepthwoman
Your site has saved my sanity and my life. Maybe even my marriage. I work part time and have two young boys at home, my husband is supportive of me but until recently I thought I was going crazy. … Reading your writing not only inspires me to pick up the pen again, but gives me nourishment in the deepest places. I will fight for balance. Everything you write is spot on… And wellness is so incredibly multifaceted.  I was ready to give up hope, but understanding myself through your words is bring…
J.K.
You’re so honest in your writing. It’s bold. It’s frank. It’s wonderful. I could definitely see the work you are doing here as a useful book. It could save/make a lot of relationships! — Jimmi Langemo
Jimmi Langemo

Join us on Facebook

The pleasure, pain and growth of human connection.

Division of Labor: How It Affects Relationships

By | 2018-07-11T15:29:04+00:00 July 13th, 2018|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

Photo by Daniel Chekalov on Unsplash "When parents let their teen believe they are too special to do ordinary work, they raise "handicapped royalty" — young people who study brilliantly and are full of conviction but don't know how clothes get clean or how to read a credit card bill."  — Dr. Wendy Mogel, [...]

How to Avoid Contempt and Keep Your Relationship Safe

By | 2018-09-19T14:04:03+00:00 July 6th, 2018|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Personal Evolution, Popular Posts, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Tina Fey eye roll I learned about the direness of contempt years ago when my marriage was ending and I happened to read Malcolm Gladwell's noted book, Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking. In the book, Gladwell speaks with Dr. John Gottman — marriage expert and scientist. Based on years of studying married [...]

Let It Be: Handling Teen Distancing and Disconnection

By | 2018-06-27T14:59:08+00:00 June 29th, 2018|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Intuitive Living, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

Photo by Warren Wong on Unsplash What if we didn't take every darn thing in life so seriously? What if we did not analyze every word and nuance? What if, God forbid, we were not mindful every second of the day? As a person who defaults to living the well-examined life, sometimes I wonder [...]

Attachment Styles in Romance and Parenting: Moving Toward Love Rather Than Away

By | 2018-06-21T12:50:40+00:00 June 22nd, 2018|Categories: Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Photo by Dominik Vanyi on Unsplash Our basic attachment styles form during childhood. I've written about attachment styles in several articles on brendaknowles.com's blog, space2live, but I'll summarize the different styles to refresh your memory. The most ideal style is secure. A secure attachment arises when we know we can count on our primary [...]

Feeling Unseen? This is What Cherished Feels Like

By | 2018-06-14T11:25:34+00:00 June 15th, 2018|Categories: Parenting, Personal Evolution, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Photo by Zoriana Stakhniv on Unsplash What does it take for us to feel cherished? Before our divorce, I used to tell my ex-husband I wanted to feel cherished. I believed it meant being seen and loved as myself — not for taking care of the house, not for feeding the kids or for [...]

Temporary Fixes Don’t Cure Loneliness: How to Eliminate the Emptiness

By | 2018-06-10T14:28:39+00:00 June 8th, 2018|Categories: Anxiety and Depression, Emotions and Energy, Introverts and Highly Sensitive People, Relationships|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash I've noticed something about myself that I'm not proud of. It is something I do when I'm alone, usually late at night. I eat junk food — preferably bite-sized food I can consume one after the other — in large quantities. I sometimes open and finish containers. I eat [...]