Stay connected

Enter your email address to receive notifications of new posts.

Testimonials

your depth of understanding, and talent at sharing it amaze me. Speechless… and for your sharing of it.. Thank you… deeply. *sigh, its like coming back into my body through acceptance….. Sherrie on space2live
Sherrie
This is me. This is me from the day I was born. For so long I felt misunderstood and rejected, even by the people closest to me, because they could never understand my need for solitude, and I had no idea how to explain it to them. Even now that I know more about Introversion and have a more informed understanding of my hard-wired need for solitude, it’s still very difficult sometimes to help my loved ones understand this profound craving for time and space all to myself. This is one of the best…
Sharon
During one of the harder times in my life I found Brenda’s website
and reached out to her. To say the least it has been one of the best
decisions I have made. Being an extrovert I never quite understood
what it meant to romantically involved with an introvert. Brenda does
an incredible job listening, giving in the moment feedback, and helped
me understand the how an introvert functions. She helped explain to me
that I am introspective extrovert, and this gave something to identify
with and allowed me t…
Evan H.
Brenda has truly opened up a space for introverted types on the ‘net, and her self-revelations are always inspiring. Her voice is one I always look forward to. She is one of the writers that actually played a part in my return to writing.  — S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
That courage and dedication you so generously share with the world, has inspired me to push myself a little harder, persevere at each task a little longer, dig a little bit deeper to where the answers just “feel” right to both my humanity AND my spirit. Your insights have reinforced my direction and given me additional tools that help me clear my path. I’m wired into my creativity as never before and the new music is pouring out of me faster than I can record and produce it; this is the Un…
Gary
For the first time in my life I could truly explain, through your words the way in which I experience life and myself. Brenda… It all fell into place. I had found myself and had such a moment of clarity. It felt like such a big weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Finally I felt like it was ok to be me. I was not the only one. I had found people and a little space where I fit in. … I was at work and crying on the inside. Emotions ran wild inside me. I was ecstatic, sad, confused, motivated, i…
Niko
Because of your blog, I know that it is possible for me to have the love that I want one day and that I don’t have to be alone.  — Indepthwoman  on space2live
Indepthwoman

“I was struggling with my daughter (16 at the time) and our constant fighting. You said something to me that changed my life! You were speaking about your own situation and you said to me “my child could not handle my emotions”. This was a HUGE “lightbulb moment” for me and it forever changed the way I dealt with my emotions when I was around my daughter!

I am happy to say that things have never been better between my soon to be 18 year old daughter and myself! I honestly never thought we would…

Mom M
THANK YOU….. you just summed up my swirling thoughts into something i can read with out everything else in my head meshing with it. I finally feel like i can explain what happens within without getting distracted. I’m an Introvert with ADD and it makes it so hard to explain quite what im feeling sometimes. — M.G. on space2live
M.G.
I think I want to print out your articles and hand them out as a sort of relationship waiver form. “You want to be my friend?….You are interesting in going out? Here read this first. Sign here to acknowledge that you have read and understand the enclosed material. Thank you.” Seriously. I think it would work. — Guerin Moorman
Guerin Moorman

Join us on Facebook

Blossom or Hibernate? In Love and Work, When Is It Right To Start Anew?

Is it OK to blossom now?  A question I ask myself every day and a question I imagine the trees and flowers are asking themselves now. March in Minnesota is usually snow-covered and grey-ish.  But this year June temperatures showed up in bright green shorts and flip flops while our coat closets were still sporting black parkas and mukluks.

A walk through the woods reveals trees and plants in various stages of bloom confusion. I can relate.

I’m between my old and new life.

Stay Close to Home or Venture Out?

I’m at the mouth of the cave where I hibernated for years as a married woman with children and homemaking ambitions. A few steps outside the cave is me as a divorced woman with children and career ambitions. My old cave served its purpose and gave me shelter and protection for years. I love that cave. But it’s time to wake up and move out.

So I’m stretching and pawing the ground. Looking for signs of life to guide me in this personal spring.  Which direction are my children headed?  What has their attention?  How to move forward with their well-being in mind? I must lead them in the best direction for ultimate survival, where they can grow healthy and strong.

There’s a fine line between their growth and mine. I am mindful of their needs and wants for closeness. I am mindful of my wants and needs to venture out.  I need space to roam and gather sustenance, both financially and spiritually.  They fight, fear and benefit from independence but don’t know it. We are all in bloom confusion.

I take steps toward writing dreams but often the chill of reality and responsibility snuffs out all the growth I make. Will I be stuck in this bud stage forever?

I mistakenly thought growth was effortless. It’s effortful. Every seedling must push through the soil…and sometimes the earth is cold and hard. Some days the struggle is all-consuming. It would be so easy to lay dormant.

Unlike nature, I have choices. I can strike out and struggle in search of my calling or I can carefully exist on what I have stored up. I’ve been existing carefully for years.  I’m mysteriously drawn to the struggle.

Love

I have choices in love too.  Stay wrapped tight in my cocoon of self-love and awareness or bloom openly and generously with another.  I’m satisfied with my single way of life.  I’m not a loner but I flower in solitude.  My brightest colors often appear when I am alone. Perhaps I should spend more time preparing for my debut.

Children and the cave keep me  busy and nourished. Adding love to the mix seems ambitious. Still… the warmth of a loving gaze draws me out.  What if love finds me, like sunshine finds green leaves?  How can I not move toward it? Even if it arrives early.

What It Takes To Bloom Magnificently

Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

The patience of nature.  Letting things unfold naturally.  Paying attention to conditions. One moment of rain drenched heavens.  One moment of sun soaked skies. I will bloom, blossom and grow. When the time is right.  Every day.

What nutrients do you need to bloom fully?  When was the last time you woke up and moved on?  Are you immersed in self-love and/or growing with someone else?

About the Author:

4 Comments

  1. 3D Eye March 27, 2012 at 1:47 am - Reply

    “Are you immersed in self-love and/or growing with someone else?”
    It’s definitely not an either/or! I really like the emphasis you give in your writing to the benefits of ‘uncoupling’ and to having time and space to enjoy life as an individual. Personally I can’t imagine ever wanting to be part of a ‘couple’ again, especially if it involved giving up my own home! However . . . I can see that for a lot of people it makes economic sense, and it usually makes sense if people want to start a family. The ‘middle way’ is surely to appreciate and enjoy good ‘friendships’ – in other words, to enjoy and to grow with not just “someone else” but with many others who share your interests, enthusiasms and needs. If it then turns out that you spend increasing amounts of time with certain people or with one other person – then so be it. Expanding the circle of friendship is surely one of life’s joys, and one that tends not to happen to a lot of people who commit to coupledom and to living in nuclear families. But we all have to beware of being drawn into thinking dualistically and into assuming that the only viable states of being are either solitude or coupledom. GF

    • brennagee March 27, 2012 at 12:21 pm - Reply

      As a newly minted singleton I am definitely doing some “middling”. I am enthusiastically embracing new friendships with kindred spirits but at the same time breathing deeply and lovingly in spacious solitude. I’ve never been more content. Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts.

  2. Tom (Aquatom1968) March 24, 2012 at 4:52 am - Reply

    Hi Brenna, like you, I’m looking out from the mouth of my cave.
    I’m taking steps further from the cave nowadays, but always need to go back when I feel I maybe too far away. But, each day I take an extra step.

    • brennagee March 24, 2012 at 12:24 pm - Reply

      Tom – Keep taking those steps. I have a feeling we are on a similar extraordinary path. It takes courage to move away from the safe cave, but courage can lead to incredible.:)

Leave a Reply

Stay Connected
Sign up for updates now and receive a FREE guide for setting boundaries![icon name="heart-o" class="" unprefixed_class=""]
We respect your privacy.
%d bloggers like this: