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Testimonials

You’re so honest in your writing. It’s bold. It’s frank. It’s wonderful. I could definitely see the work you are doing here as a useful book. It could save/make a lot of relationships! — Jimmi Langemo
Jimmi Langemo
During one of the harder times in my life I found Brenda’s website
and reached out to her. To say the least it has been one of the best
decisions I have made. Being an extrovert I never quite understood
what it meant to romantically involved with an introvert. Brenda does
an incredible job listening, giving in the moment feedback, and helped
me understand the how an introvert functions. She helped explain to me
that I am introspective extrovert, and this gave something to identify
with and allowed me t…
Evan H.

“I was struggling with my daughter (16 at the time) and our constant fighting. You said something to me that changed my life! You were speaking about your own situation and you said to me “my child could not handle my emotions”. This was a HUGE “lightbulb moment” for me and it forever changed the way I dealt with my emotions when I was around my daughter!

I am happy to say that things have never been better between my soon to be 18 year old daughter and myself! I honestly never thought we would…

Mom M
That courage and dedication you so generously share with the world, has inspired me to push myself a little harder, persevere at each task a little longer, dig a little bit deeper to where the answers just “feel” right to both my humanity AND my spirit. Your insights have reinforced my direction and given me additional tools that help me clear my path. I’m wired into my creativity as never before and the new music is pouring out of me faster than I can record and produce it; this is the Un…
Gary
THANK YOU….. you just summed up my swirling thoughts into something i can read with out everything else in my head meshing with it. I finally feel like i can explain what happens within without getting distracted. I’m an Introvert with ADD and it makes it so hard to explain quite what im feeling sometimes. — M.G. on space2live
M.G.
I met Brenda and took the MBTI… I had a fairly good understanding of these types before the meeting but was impressed by the depth of knowledge that Brenda shared with me. She clearly has a passion for this work and a gift in imparting the information. There have been doors opened for me because of our talks… — Alan Hintermeister
Alan Hintermeister
your depth of understanding, and talent at sharing it amaze me. Speechless… and for your sharing of it.. Thank you… deeply. *sigh, its like coming back into my body through acceptance….. Sherrie on space2live
Sherrie
This is me. This is me from the day I was born. For so long I felt misunderstood and rejected, even by the people closest to me, because they could never understand my need for solitude, and I had no idea how to explain it to them. Even now that I know more about Introversion and have a more informed understanding of my hard-wired need for solitude, it’s still very difficult sometimes to help my loved ones understand this profound craving for time and space all to myself. This is one of the best…
Sharon
For the first time in my life I could truly explain, through your words the way in which I experience life and myself. Brenda… It all fell into place. I had found myself and had such a moment of clarity. It felt like such a big weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Finally I felt like it was ok to be me. I was not the only one. I had found people and a little space where I fit in. … I was at work and crying on the inside. Emotions ran wild inside me. I was ecstatic, sad, confused, motivated, i…
Niko
I have been dating an introverted man who I am very in love with for almost 2 years.  Reading your posts have helped me to be more supportive and understanding to him especially during the times when he needs space.  I just wanted to thank you for your weekly posts and let you know how helpful they are for someone who is in a relationship with an introvert. C.M. on space2live
C.M.

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About 2017-09-14T08:09:10+00:00

THE SPACE WE NEED

 

Brenda Knowles, Who Is She?

Hello! I’m so glad you are here.:)

I’m Brenda. I’d like to give you a synopsis of my credentials and what made me who I am today.

What makes me uniquely qualified to write and provide coaching services for BrendaKnowles.com and space2live? 

Brenda Hipsta (297)

Photo courtesy of Emissive Photography

First of all, I’m a dreamy, intuitive, sensitive, deeply feeling introvert who’s also a mother, ex-wife, lover, friend and daughter. I am my audience on space2live. My first-hand experience as a sensitive introvert gives me a deep understanding of our nature which helps me validate and empathize with other introverts. I also have insider information for those in relationships with introverts or intuitive feeling types. Yes, I work well with extroverts too.

I’ve been writing for space2live for over six years. I recently finished the manuscript for my first book — The Quiet Rise of Introverts: 8 Practices for Living and Loving in a Noisy World. It will be available fall of 2017!

I am trained in family mediation.

I am a Myers Briggs practitioner.

Now for a little personal background:

I spent the first 18 years of my life living in the quiet country, complete with corn fields, animals and dirt roads. My sister was the rambunctious one. I was the quiet one. My dad called me Pinky and House Plant when I was young. Pinky for my feminine, dainty behavior and penchant for the color pink. House Plant because I had to be forced to go outside. I loved reading, playing with dolls, daydreaming and listening to music in my room.

Definitely an introvert, wouldn’t you say?

Too bad I didn’t know that back then. I spent the first three decades of my life trying to be like my sister and most everyone else. I pushed myself to move fast, talk fast and get noticed.

I attended one of the biggest universities in the country, Michigan State University. I obtained a business degree in Materials and Logistics Management (try not to fall asleep reading that). I met my finance- major husband there. I spent two and a half years in Chicago on my own before marrying him. After we were married we lived in Columbus, OH, Chicago, IL, Houston, TX, Columbus again and finally Minneapolis, MN, where I have lived for the last ten years. Along the way, we had three beautiful children. He moved up the corporate/hedgefund ladder. I nurtured our kids, joined social circles and decorated and maintained consecutively bigger houses.

I followed the traditional blueprint very well, didn’t I?

We were happy, for a while.

Around age 35, seeds long-buried from my dreamy girlhood started to sprout. I longed for a slower pace and a more meaningful existence. I felt like all I did was spin on the hamster wheel of suburban living. Manicured yard, school functions, school forms, business dinners, obligatory entertaining, home improvement, etc. I knew I was damn lucky to live so comfortably with health, financial stability and fancy vacations. Which is why I felt so conflicted about my true feelings.

I felt like I was dying on the vine. I craved deep discussions, vulnerable sharing and genuine connection. I was a burned out mommy (with a  PT nanny and personal trainer, I know, WTH?!!). I either felt numb or extremely anxious all the time. It was hard to get up in the morning. I grew further and further away from my husband. He didn’t know how to satisfy my dissatisfaction. I didn’t really know either.

The sprouts began to blossom. I started taking steps toward subjects that called to me, like guitar lessons, fitness and writing. In each new arena, I made new friends. These friends felt like home. Supportive, encouraging, introspective and creative. I couldn’t wait to get up in the morning.

I started interacting differently with my kids. I listened and encouraged even more. I wanted them to feel safe to be themselves and to make mistakes. I tried desperately to figure out how to be the best mom in the world AND nurture my own need for solitude and meaningful work.
That required engaging with them but also compliance from them regarding my personal boundaries. Not easy. I always came up short on energy and short on understanding of my efforts.

The tension and distance between my husband and me reached breaking point. We ended the marriage, fairly amicably.

Now…

My sons are 16 and 14 and my daughter is 12 years old. My oldest is an introvert (INTP), deep, deep thinker, fitness enthusiast and one of my favorite people to talk to in the whole world. He’s 6’2″ and plays guitar. My middle son is also an introvert (ISTJ/INTJ) and deep thinker. He  is a leader among his friends and ultra responsible. He plays football and masters every video game. His dimples will melt your heart. My daughter is an extrovert (ENFJ) and a ray of sunshine to all she meets. She is kind, sensitive and extremely empathetic. She is a creative idea machine and she follows through with her plans. I enjoy their company immensely, when they’ll let me hang around with them.;)

I’ve been in and out of the dating world for over three years. I’ve learned a lot about myself and how to love and be loved. I love the relationship adventure. I’ve been with my current beau for almost a year.

Writing and connecting with my audience on space2live fills me up. So satisfying. I feel at home with my tribe. I am at ease. I receive so many emails from others who find my story similar to theirs. I love showing others who they are and why they are valuable. So much so, I am now venturing into the personal coaching realm.

Just like when I was a girl daydreaming in my room, on a ‘normal’ day you can find me hiding out in my favorite room in the house — my home office. It’s discreetly tucked away in a corner far from the hustle and bustle of the rest of the house. I spend early mornings, late nights and many hours in between in this little sanctuary. It’s calming blue walls, dark wood and ceiling-high book shelves form the cocoon where I transform and breathe.

Stay true and loving,

Brenda blue signature

I want to run my fingers through your hair image by Rona Keller photographer

I want to run my fingers through your hair image by Rona Keller photographer

 

At BrendaKnowles.com and space2live I love to:

1. Give you the confidence to be true to your nature.

2. Enhance intimacy and understanding in your relationships.

Differences in personality are decoded and valued equally here. A favorite mantra of mine is ‘Different not better’. Each perspective deserves appreciation and respect.

The work and writing done here are not only for introverts and highly sensitive people, although showing those individuals their gifts and worth is an important facet of BrendaKnowles.com. The work and writing are for anyone who wants to gain insight into themselves or their loved ones. In fact, I do a lot of work with extroverts who want to create extraordinary relationships with their more introverted partners.

Refreshing to read soulful pieces about what it’s like to live as an introvert, rather than *top ten signs you are one* — Space2live reader, M. O’Keeffe

Through my personal stories, reflections and research I share my experience as a sensitive, introverted, mother, writer, lover and friend. Those who experience BrendaKnowles.com/space2live often walk away feeling heard and less alone.

This is your safe space to learn and evolve.

Welcome:)

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