Brenda Knowles, Who Is She?
Hello! I’m so glad you are here.:)
I’m Brenda. I’d like to give you a synopsis of my credentials and what made me who I am today.
What makes me uniquely qualified to write and provide coaching services for BrendaKnowles.com and space2live?
First of all, I’m a dreamy, intuitive, sensitive, deeply feeling introvert who’s also a mother, ex-wife, lover, friend and daughter. I am my audience on space2live. My first-hand experience as a sensitive introvert gives me a deep understanding of our nature which helps me validate and empathize with other introverts. I also have insider information for those in relationships with introverts or intuitive feeling types. Yes, I work well with extroverts too.
I’ve been writing for space2live for over six years. I recently finished the manuscript for my first book — The Quiet Rise of Introverts: 8 Practices for Living and Loving in a Noisy World. It will be available fall of 2017!
I am trained in family mediation.
I am a Myers Briggs practitioner.
Now for a little personal background:
I spent the first 18 years of my life living in the quiet country, complete with corn fields, animals and dirt roads. My sister was the rambunctious one. I was the quiet one. My dad called me Pinky and House Plant when I was young. Pinky for my feminine, dainty behavior and penchant for the color pink. House Plant because I had to be forced to go outside. I loved reading, playing with dolls, daydreaming and listening to music in my room.
Definitely an introvert, wouldn’t you say?
Too bad I didn’t know that back then. I spent the first three decades of my life trying to be like my sister and most everyone else. I pushed myself to move fast, talk fast and get noticed.
I attended one of the biggest universities in the country, Michigan State University. I obtained a business degree in Materials and Logistics Management (try not to fall asleep reading that). I met my finance- major husband there. I spent two and a half years in Chicago on my own before marrying him. After we were married we lived in Columbus, OH, Chicago, IL, Houston, TX, Columbus again and finally Minneapolis, MN, where I have lived for the last ten years. Along the way, we had three beautiful children. He moved up the corporate/hedgefund ladder. I nurtured our kids, joined social circles and decorated and maintained consecutively bigger houses.
I followed the traditional blueprint very well, didn’t I?
We were happy, for a while.
Around age 35, seeds long-buried from my dreamy girlhood started to sprout. I longed for a slower pace and a more meaningful existence. I felt like all I did was spin on the hamster wheel of suburban living. Manicured yard, school functions, school forms, business dinners, obligatory entertaining, home improvement, etc. I knew I was damn lucky to live so comfortably with health, financial stability and fancy vacations. Which is why I felt so conflicted about my true feelings.
I felt like I was dying on the vine. I craved deep discussions, vulnerable sharing and genuine connection. I was a burned out mommy (with a PT nanny and personal trainer, I know, WTH?!!). I either felt numb or extremely anxious all the time. It was hard to get up in the morning. I grew further and further away from my husband. He didn’t know how to satisfy my dissatisfaction. I didn’t really know either.
The sprouts began to blossom. I started taking steps toward subjects that called to me, like guitar lessons, fitness and writing. In each new arena, I made new friends. These friends felt like home. Supportive, encouraging, introspective and creative. I couldn’t wait to get up in the morning.
I started interacting differently with my kids. I listened and encouraged even more. I wanted them to feel safe to be themselves and to make mistakes. I tried desperately to figure out how to be the best mom in the world AND nurture my own need for solitude and meaningful work.
That required engaging with them but also compliance from them regarding my personal boundaries. Not easy. I always came up short on energy and short on understanding of my efforts.
The tension and distance between my husband and me reached breaking point. We ended the marriage, fairly amicably.
My sons are 16 and 14 and my daughter is 12 years old. My oldest is an introvert (INTP), deep, deep thinker, fitness enthusiast and one of my favorite people to talk to in the whole world. He’s 6’2″ and plays guitar. My middle son is also an introvert (ISTJ/INTJ) and deep thinker. He is a leader among his friends and ultra responsible. He plays football and masters every video game. His dimples will melt your heart. My daughter is an extrovert (ENFJ) and a ray of sunshine to all she meets. She is kind, sensitive and extremely empathetic. She is a creative idea machine and she follows through with her plans. I enjoy their company immensely, when they’ll let me hang around with them.;)
I’ve been in and out of the dating world for over three years. I’ve learned a lot about myself and how to love and be loved. I love the relationship adventure. I’ve been with my current beau for almost a year.
Writing and connecting with my audience on space2live fills me up. So satisfying. I feel at home with my tribe. I am at ease. I receive so many emails from others who find my story similar to theirs. I love showing others who they are and why they are valuable. So much so, I am now venturing into the personal coaching realm.
Just like when I was a girl daydreaming in my room, on a ‘normal’ day you can find me hiding out in my favorite room in the house — my home office. It’s discreetly tucked away in a corner far from the hustle and bustle of the rest of the house. I spend early mornings, late nights and many hours in between in this little sanctuary. It’s calming blue walls, dark wood and ceiling-high book shelves form the cocoon where I transform and breathe.
Stay true and loving,
At BrendaKnowles.com and space2live I love to:
1. Give you the confidence to be true to your nature.
2. Enhance intimacy and understanding in your relationships.
Differences in personality are decoded and valued equally here. A favorite mantra of mine is ‘Different not better’. Each perspective deserves appreciation and respect.
The work and writing done here are not only for introverts and highly sensitive people, although showing those individuals their gifts and worth is an important facet of BrendaKnowles.com. The work and writing are for anyone who wants to gain insight into themselves or their loved ones. In fact, I do a lot of work with extroverts who want to create extraordinary relationships with their more introverted partners.
Refreshing to read soulful pieces about what it’s like to live as an introvert, rather than *top ten signs you are one* — Space2live reader, M. O’Keeffe
Through my personal stories, reflections and research I share my experience as a sensitive, introverted, mother, writer, lover and friend. Those who experience BrendaKnowles.com/space2live often walk away feeling heard and less alone.
This is your safe space to learn and evolve.