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For the first time in my life I could truly explain, through your words the way in which I experience life and myself. Brenda… It all fell into place. I had found myself and had such a moment of clarity. It felt like such a big weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Finally I felt like it was ok to be me. I was not the only one. I had found people and a little space where I fit in. … I was at work and crying on the inside. Emotions ran wild inside me. I was ecstatic, sad, confused, motivated, i…

“I was struggling with my daughter (16 at the time) and our constant fighting. You said something to me that changed my life! You were speaking about your own situation and you said to me “my child could not handle my emotions”. This was a HUGE “lightbulb moment” for me and it forever changed the way I dealt with my emotions when I was around my daughter!

I am happy to say that things have never been better between my soon to be 18 year old daughter and myself! I honestly never thought we would…

Mom M
That courage and dedication you so generously share with the world, has inspired me to push myself a little harder, persevere at each task a little longer, dig a little bit deeper to where the answers just “feel” right to both my humanity AND my spirit. Your insights have reinforced my direction and given me additional tools that help me clear my path. I’m wired into my creativity as never before and the new music is pouring out of me faster than I can record and produce it; this is the Un…
Your words are my lifeline.  I sit down to your posts and as I read I can feel my acceptance of myself and my needs grow.  Your words validate my feelings about my life, motherhood, relationships and it is something I hold onto.  And during the times when I feel like I am not able to be a mother or a wife or a sister or a friend or whatever someone needs me to be, I go back to your words and find some peace…I send your posts to my husband when I need him to understand that I love him but I need …
THANK YOU….. you just summed up my swirling thoughts into something i can read with out everything else in my head meshing with it. I finally feel like i can explain what happens within without getting distracted. I’m an Introvert with ADD and it makes it so hard to explain quite what im feeling sometimes. — M.G. on space2live
Thank you for all the words. You’ve created the magic drug I’ve been looking for all my life. Your blog has transformed my life, and I feel like I am on the brink of a most satisfying fulfilling journey…You’ve made me see everything in a new light. I now feel calmer, able to care better for my toddler, less hateful of people around, and hopeful for my future. I am not so afraid for our marriage anymore. — Shilpa CB
Shilpa CB
I have been dating an introverted man who I am very in love with for almost 2 years.  Reading your posts have helped me to be more supportive and understanding to him especially during the times when he needs space.  I just wanted to thank you for your weekly posts and let you know how helpful they are for someone who is in a relationship with an introvert. C.M. on space2live
Because of your blog, I know that it is possible for me to have the love that I want one day and that I don’t have to be alone.  — Indepthwoman  on space2live
I met Brenda and took the MBTI… I had a fairly good understanding of these types before the meeting but was impressed by the depth of knowledge that Brenda shared with me. She clearly has a passion for this work and a gift in imparting the information. There have been doors opened for me because of our talks… — Alan Hintermeister
Alan Hintermeister
your depth of understanding, and talent at sharing it amaze me. Speechless… and for your sharing of it.. Thank you… deeply. *sigh, its like coming back into my body through acceptance….. Sherrie on space2live

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5 Most Popular Posts of 2018: Relationships, Why We Act Introverted and the Avoidant Attachment Style

2018 reading

Wow! I can’t believe we are at the end of 2018. I like to look back at the top posts — determined by highest average number of views — on for the year. It is a nice way for me to see what I learned in the last 12 months and what you, the reader, found most interesting.

Here are the top posts and a brief summary of each, in order of popularity:

  1. Avoidant Attachment in Adult Relationships: The Truth Behind Our Need to Be Alone.

“People with an avoidant attachment style grew up with caregivers who devalued or avoided emotional and physical closeness. Dependency was denied, leaving the child to figure out ways to self-soothe and regulate their own emotions.” As adults, this habit of self-soothing and fear of rejection, cause many of us to withdraw from our partners. This degrades the security of the relationship. This post offers ways to increase closeness and security in our relationships.

2. How We Move from Insecure to Secure Relationships: 3 Stages.

At first, a person with a past of traumatic attachment chooses someone as a partner who reinforces their negative beliefs about themselves.” We gravitate to what is familiar. This is a subconscious act. As we mature and become more conscious we choose partners who make us feel safe and thus make it easier for us to open up to them and offer reassurance as well. This post walks through the three stages and offers help in determining how secure your relationship is.

3. The Biggest Wound of Relationships and How to Avoid It.

“Each little choice to not be present or attentive feels like a mini-rejection to our nervous systems. We implicitly feel disconnected. Intellectually, we tell ourselves, He’s busy minding the kids or She’s got a deadline at work or He’s really tired, but our primitive brain does not care how great our intellect is or how rational we are.” Want to avoid a nuclear meltdown in your relationship? Check out this post. It offers ways to maintain stability that you can do independently and with your partner.

4. Feeling Unseen: This Is What Cherished Feels Like.

“In many ways we treat our spouses like parents treat children. We don’t have the time and energy to consistently enchant or be enchanted. We we see our partners every day so it is difficult to create fresh curiosity for each other.” Feeling cherished by someone fortifies us against the times we have to endure difficult situations and emotions. This post reminds us what it feels like to have someone enchanted with us.

5. Why We Act Introverted: It’s Not Just Our Nature.

“…according to studies, we inherit only about half of our introverted traits. What else makes us retreat to the safety of our own company? What else causes us to create distance between ourselves and the ones we love?” In this post you’ll learn both the inborn and social reasons for introverted behavior. This is a good post to share with a loved one who does not understand your need for quiet time or solitude.

Two other posts I personally recommend just because I experienced aha! moments while researching and writing them, are:

How Safety and Physiology Affect Our Socializing


Does Your Partner Accept Your Influence? The Importance of Sharing Decision-Making In a Relationship


May you find some comforting, helpful and insightful information in the above posts. I did! 😉 I look forward to sharing more stories and information with you in 2019! It’s going to be an incredible year.

Please tell me if any of my writing made a significant impact on you in 2018. If so, what and why? Also, I’d love to hear what you think I need to include more of in 2019.

Stay tuned for more info regarding the online courses I’m creating to be released in January and February 2019.

Happy New Year! Sending much warmth and love,



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