your depth of understanding, and talent at sharing it amaze me. Speechless… and for your sharing of it.. Thank you… deeply. *sigh, its like coming back into my body through acceptance….. Sherrie on space2live
You’re so honest in your writing. It’s bold. It’s frank. It’s wonderful. I could definitely see the work you are doing here as a useful book. It could save/make a lot of relationships! — Jimmi Langemo
Jimmi Langemo
Because of your blog, I know that it is possible for me to have the love that I want one day and that I don’t have to be alone.  — Indepthwoman  on space2live
That courage and dedication you so generously share with the world, has inspired me to push myself a little harder, persevere at each task a little longer, dig a little bit deeper to where the answers just “feel” right to both my humanity AND my spirit. Your insights have reinforced my direction and given me additional tools that help me clear my path. I’m wired into my creativity as never before and the new music is pouring out of me faster than I can record and produce it; this is the Un…
I met Brenda and took the MBTI… I had a fairly good understanding of these types before the meeting but was impressed by the depth of knowledge that Brenda shared with me. She clearly has a passion for this work and a gift in imparting the information. There have been doors opened for me because of our talks… — Alan Hintermeister
Alan Hintermeister
For the first time in my life I could truly explain, through your words the way in which I experience life and myself. Brenda… It all fell into place. I had found myself and had such a moment of clarity. It felt like such a big weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Finally I felt like it was ok to be me. I was not the only one. I had found people and a little space where I fit in. … I was at work and crying on the inside. Emotions ran wild inside me. I was ecstatic, sad, confused, motivated, i…
Brenda has truly opened up a space for introverted types on the ‘net, and her self-revelations are always inspiring. Her voice is one I always look forward to. She is one of the writers that actually played a part in my return to writing.  — S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms
S.E. of Sunflower Solace Farms

“I was struggling with my daughter (16 at the time) and our constant fighting. You said something to me that changed my life! You were speaking about your own situation and you said to me “my child could not handle my emotions”. This was a HUGE “lightbulb moment” for me and it forever changed the way I dealt with my emotions when I was around my daughter!

I am happy to say that things have never been better between my soon to be 18 year old daughter and myself! I honestly never thought we would…

Mom M
BRENDA: thank you SO much! Your advice is exactly what I need to do. I am amazed how much you “get” me after only exchanging a few messages!… Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You’ve helped me more than a year of therapy sessions! – Megan on space2live
Thank you for all the words. You’ve created the magic drug I’ve been looking for all my life. Your blog has transformed my life, and I feel like I am on the brink of a most satisfying fulfilling journey…You’ve made me see everything in a new light. I now feel calmer, able to care better for my toddler, less hateful of people around, and hopeful for my future. I am not so afraid for our marriage anymore. — Shilpa CB
Shilpa CB

5 Best Reads of 2017: Relationships, Raising Kids and a Psychological Thriller

I wanted to share the books that moved me this year. I set a goal to read 25 books by December 31st. I didn’t make my goal. I read 20. I know some people can read a book in a few days. I’ve always been a good reader but a slow reader. I take my time looking for meaning in everything. I also like to read non-fiction that teaches me. When I’m learning, I’m digesting and savoring. That takes time. Are you a speed reader or a slow savorer? It’s my dream to be a fast reader with high comprehension.

Enough about my tortoise-like reading. Each of the following books affected me in a positive way. I highly recommend them. I hope you find them helpful or at least entertaining.


Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Dr. Jonice Webb. This is the book that changed me the most. I found Dr. Webb’s take on how childhood affects our present lifestyle and relationships refreshing and eye-opening. I found her insight on self-discipline particularly interesting. This is my number one recommendation for the year. You’ll see yourself, your kids and your parents in this book.

The Social Animal:The Hidden Sources of Love, Character and Achievement by David Brooks. Brooks looks at humanity and our penchant for rationalism, individualism and IQ, then shows us how true success lies in trust, humility and social connection. I loved the structure of this book. Brooks uses research to make points but the points are made in the midst of a storyline of two hypothetical people whose lives we follow from birth to death.

Hold Onto Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers by Dr. Gordon Neufeld and Dr. Gabor Maté. This book made me think deeply about the world my kids live in. Hold Onto Your Kids talks about the disconnection many kids have with family. The book shows why kids’ friends are not the best attachment sources and how we can become closer with our children.


Hold Me Tight (Not Amazon affiliate) by Dr. Sue Johnson. This is the book on intimate relationships I found the most enlightening and straightforward. It is full of practical ways to address conflict and loss of connection. You will learn relationship changing skills from Dr. Johnson’s work.


The Stranger by Harlan Coben. This is the only fiction book on the list. I could not put it down. It’s a story about a family on the East Coast in modern times. I could relate to the depiction of family life with two teenaged boys. There are suspenseful twists and engaging storylines. This book is for pure pleasure reading.

Beyond the list but worth mentioning

Honorable Mentions: Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton, Wired for Love by Dr. Stan Tatkin

Of course, I can’t talk about my favorite books of 2017 without mentioning the one I created myself. It definitely has a special place in my heart. If you’re interested in finding a calm within yourself and fulfillment within a relationship, The Quiet Rise is perfect for you. Check it out on Amazon or in bookstores near you.

The Quiet Rise of Introverts: 8 Practices for Living and Loving in a Noisy World by some joker living in Minnesota.

If you’re interested in a free ebook and guide to living life as an INFJ ( I know many of you reading my blog are INFJs), click on this link and gain access to The INFJ Personality Guide: Understand Yourself, Reach Your Potential and Live a Life of Purpose by Bo Miller. Bo recently interviewed me for his podcast. I felt at home working with him. His work will resonate with many of you. INFJ personality guide




I hope you have time to kick back and enjoy one or two of the recommendations over the holiday season. I wish all of you the most love-filled and joy-filled holidays. Can’t wait to connect with you in 2018!


With much warmth and care,




*Disclaimer: I get a tiny payment for each book purchased on Amazon through brendaknowles.com.







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